Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Story Untold

so storytelling a lie lang sa ron. it's about my history on girls. i was able to write a report on this because somebody asked me 'kamusta na daw lublyf kow!' (feel naq nay nanugo nea ani buh). though it wasn't new to me, i was still uncertain of what i'm going to answer. i was completely blank at that time, so what came out from my mouth was 'heto, same old scenario, minos panagat...'. she just simpered pairing it with the old 'hehe' motion. aftermath, i was able to freshen up my mind about my past experiences on dating and courting. i remember the time when i was in grade 6, i and my bestfriend had a crush on the same specie. and we were both writing a letter to her, telling her all the adorations in the world (yahay keo to bayhana ke two birds in one shot man). she wasn't that pretty, but she was so adorable during our elementary years. balik ta sa sulat, i and my bestfriend were copying each other's work for it was our first time to write a love letter (ke kaniadto lagi nagtuon tuon paman). so it was 'klaro sa tb tb' that the girl also had a crush on my bestfriend that they became MU's and i gave way for their plethora.

HAYSKUL LIFE! (chaka mani ue)
during my freshman years, naa napod koy prospect na bae xempre. a sophisticated young woman with xalite xalite dating (not so mahangin but plain lang). she always do her pompous walk in the hallways of the sci-curr building during recess period. because i don't know how to make suyo suyo to girls pa. all that's inside my trolly and hypothalamus is the thought that i like her and i wish to make her happy (unsa ragud bation sa persyer nga wa pamanay alamag). i was the one of the pioneers of the pairing/loveteam inside the classroom. it came to happen that the fuss in the classroom is swelling. and i don't know if that girl was just patay mali or wiz keber that she wouldn't bother to dive into the gossips. few days later i wrote a letter emphasizing that i wanted to court her. Lunchbreak! i was called by one of our common friends to settle the issue at the backyard of the classroom and so i went there. to my surprise, ten million ka tawo ang nag-atang sa ako (mura man pod tag artista ani ba tsk tsk). ang bata, was pretending to be cool but the knees were shaking to the max and the heart was pumping hard that it would never pump again. i don't want this to be very very detailed since it was already very detailed O.O aw. to cut the story short we ended it in a way that both parties' concerns were recognized. the ending was, the bestfriend of my bestfriend became his boyfriend and i gave up because i wasn't happy with the situation na (tan-awa rang persyer wahaha).
Second year! (oh may gahd clumsy moments nakuh ni agui)
so there was this maangas girl inside the class. a pure bred ilongga (they were labeled as braggard in our place you know). but she wasn't the hypocrite type. she was just mataray eventhough she's small and that's why i hated her (exdee). since she was the class secretary and i was the longest living chatter inside the house, we were rivals in many features. diba uso paman nang lista lista ug noisy with fines sa hayskul, i was always the number one in her list that's why i always grumble and tease her after the class. PE! di paman uso ang dance dance revo third mix ana nga time so we were dancing cha-cha. miracles shed from the heavens, ug wa ko kabalo unsa iyang nakaon why she asked me to be her partner (i wish it was for real). i nodded sign of affirmation for the reason that i'll be able to make fun of her and so i can take vengeance. i always mock her even if it's me who had both left feet in dancing. we usually quarrel when we see each other's face elsewhere (or not usual but always) and murag na anad na ba. one of our ate ate once spoke, 'sigi mog dugsing ba kamo man jud magkadaun puhon', and at the back part of my mind, like sure it would happen as if she would pass my standards (because she wasn't that pretty i guess). but when times like she's out of school for Press Cons i usually miss her and longs to see her for there's no one i can make kulet kulet anymore. cupid must have targeted his arrow on me that i didn't expect i would fall in love with my worst enemy. there was one incident ba na i wanted to give her flowers ug na palaw ko kay nagseminar diay xa for upcoming RSPC (the flowers was with me that time na). it was in the afternoon when i wandered the city, upon walking on the streets i saw her riding a tricycle towards Gaisano Mall of Gensan (about 3km in distance from my position, this was according to my calculations char lang). i don't know what came into my head that i hasten my footsteps. then i was already running to catch the vehicle she was riding. it was more than half way that the vehicle vanished from my scope and i stop running realizing that she was on a tricycle and i was on my sandals (just imagine the scenario, pang MMK kau oi chaka). following weeks came over, i wanted to surprise her so i bought a silver ring just for her. it was noontime when i gave her the ring and sat nearby singing to her the song 'Maniwala Ka Sana' by Parokya Ni Edgar. i don't know how it feels to serenade even if i sounded like a croaking frog basta ang ako lang kay mahuman naq ang kanta. i courted her for more than a year bearing the hopes and dreams that she'd fall for me too sometime in the future. of course i went into thorough interrogations and several denials but i was still persistent until that very day... she told me a secret that i wish i never knew i was in love with her. few weeks from the time we had that conversation, she had a boyfriend na diay. that time, i was ripped apart that i wish to end my stay on this planet. i would cry from time to time, punch the wall, scratch my arms with the use of pins for i didn't know what else to do. basta i was a miser, just imagine atlas na nadat-ugan sa iyang gipas-an nga kalibutan. it took me more than a year to move on. she transferred to another school, and bisan ingon ana na, i would be in the front gate magmasid masid. taking the chance of seeing her ba.
Third year!
during my third year in highschool, i got off contact with the world. what i mean is i didn't want to engage myself on dating (sakitan gud kuno ko watata). pero it was the time when i had a hidden feeling for my bestfriend though it wasn't that great. a simple crush case turns out into puppy love. mga happenings like i would treat my bestfriend a merienda inside the canteen, mga chika chika sa kinabuhi namong duha et al. i stifled my feelings for my bestfriend because i know it wasn't the right thing. pero it faded away na when i transferred into another section during my 4th year in highschool (may rapod oi).
Fourth Year!
kani laging hawud hawud ta ba, i was elected as the class president in our section. and because the president is nothing without his daily reports, he needed his secretary XD. it was in the latter part that i found out that my secretary was my childhood playmate pala (sori kay limtanon man gud ko wa nako kahinumdom, bata pa bea mi adto nga time). days, nights, weeks, months pass by. we indulged into an intimate closeness, alot of time that we're with other kasi eh. Setting were HHWW sa rice fields, mga hatud hatud pauli, outing sa beach and ah oh oh i forgot the climax of our lub story wahaha. one afternoon when we decided to go to the city library to read some books (ang akong tuyo kay mukuyog nalng ko ba kay naman xa), it suddenly rained. the rain was pouring very hard on us that i told her na mauna na xa dun sa library me dadaanan lang ako sandali. for the library was not to far from the cathedral, dumaan na ko to buy red roses. i was very wet when i reached the library so punas punas muna and i showed her the flowers (xempre it was dedicated to her eh). and i told to the girl that i surely like her and am very willing to court her. 'pananghid sa kay mama' was her statement. and because i was very firm with my decision for i like her na jud that time, i went to her mother's den (her mum's also a teachee). of course i brought a pack of food with me for she told me that her mother wanted to see me with her merienda (napakagiatay julalay akong show). her mother was a jolly person, she was cracking jokes on me and ako pod sakay sakay nalng ba (yez nalng ang akong mastorya ba). her mother told me that we were still young and she wanted us to finish our study first before anything else. 'mas lami manang magkalayo mu for a long time and paghuman ninyog skwela ba kay kamo rapod magkadaun'. well i guess mother knows best at i was very very obedient that time yes naleng porebermor ang show. pila ka months ang nilabay, she was linked to another boy and i was jealous. we had a trouble so nahuman na among lub story. yay. XD~ it was in the prom when i made my bestfriend my partner and we were crowned as the king and queen of hearts in that senior's night. i didn't notice 'the mother' was watching us not from afar. i went out to drink some water. 'the mother' approached me, xempre i was shock. she was asking nganong wala daw mi nag pares nga gwapo ug gwapa lagi ming pareho that night. i just smiled and went back into my seat beside my partner opkors. i guess i don't want to cling on our relationship siguro. and i guess that was high school... hahay.

oh it wasn't that fascinating. pero pareho sa mga nahitabo sa una, i was a junk in college. at first i thought that my heart will stay laidback and never look for an another opposite being again. not until i met a company of tough boys, girls and baylaroots (o.O). inside the group lies a special creature. she's always been the center of mortification. i find her guileless for she didn't know that she's actually daffy. one of my closest buddy once told me, i wanted to be with her all the time for she's fun to be with. Oo nga naman, no doubt about that. i like her innocence, and maybe dala rapod sa tuklod tuklod and sungog sungog that my feelings developed. i gave her a bunch of love like sending flowers, letters, and treats. but on the long run i realized that she wasn't my cup of tea. i believe i was naive way back then maybe because the group treated me like a little kid and not as a young man. i didn't nurture the feeling, eventually it faded away. and totoo pala yung kasabihan na the higher you climb the harder you fall. nuon pod wa man juy pagmahay nga mag.una ba? (sama sa mga naning diha sa daplin, if you're reading this well this one's for you). i had a crush on this girl even before we met personally. and i sensed i was one of the luckiest man alive for we became close sometime in my life (uhh as far as i can remember). she was already owned by a stupid nomad from the other planet when my feelings for her started to bloom. so, usahay i would complain deep inside of me when they're at their sweet moments. oh i was just watching them being happy together for i knew she was happy being with him so i don't need to interrupt and make an eksena. until that very day (tsk tsk tsk)! they broke up and she was very very sad (mao pay anti-social kayo na nisamot pajod). i wanted to embrace her all the time i was with her, for i know deep inside it was really really painful. i was not angry at the guy for what he did (xempre d ko na naman feel ganu kasakit un kasi d naman ako ung nasaktan at the first place). what i'm angry at is the fact that she needs somebody to give her comfort and i can't stand up to be one. i was jealous with the guy for he was loved dearly by her but i felt remorse for him for he had taken her for granted. when i'm alone i usually talk to myself. usahai kani nga topic among maistoryahan sa akong anino (mamelz). and i thought it was my chance to show out my feelings, but before that i consulted some of my dakilang tagatambag and ask them to share some piece of advice. i was never mapalad, it was in a crucial situation wherein i would leave and be impound somewhere inside the philippine archipelago but i wanted to tell her the feelings i carry. before i left, i committed suicide first. i confessed my feelings to her through a nobela, then i went away. everyday was a scrupulous day for me for i was away but my heart and mind were left behind. and who said it was easy for my part that i wish to see her everytime i'm alone. i was always concerned on her (siguro di lang klaro kay sa ako nalang man to taman). one promising day, we were asked to go back to the place where we should be (lupad na daun ko eh, excited gud). but my heart cheated on me, asking me to be calm and cold eventhough i wanted to hold her tight and never let her go. that was everything i can do, suppress the feeling (also alot of em wanted it to be that way because it was the best thing to do). months past and i was already denied twice for she wanted us to be good friends. i too wanted that, but it was really too late to save the closeness so i regret (ako lang naman kasi ang mapilit sa show na ito eh). i tried hard coping with what she wanted but the turmoil inside is already burning me alive. and siguro minsan i find myself confusing because i am always preoccupied about it. my dakilang tagatambag told me that i don't stand a chance so better forget everything. i had an emotional breakdown, right when i'm about to tell everything i was suddenly warned not to go on. the lord must have forsaken me for my desires. and now? i wish to forget the feelings na lang for i know it was very deadly.


  1. haha.char kau bah.npaka kau imo lablyf.

  2. Lobel, asa naman ka gibutang sa ginoo?



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