Thursday, November 13, 2008

Confession of a Tightwad Grown-Up 2

"I had devoted myself on the idea not to love again for - the nth time - it would be tragic."

I hate to skip the pages of my life. That's why from time to time I'd reminisce those regretful memories and then boils down to one conclusion... that girls are world wreckers.

Indeed, stereotyping them would give them the impression that I'm judgmental. But they shouldn't blame me for being like this, they must not. I know I can't keep up with them, with their standards. Maybe because like they always do, I can't find anything attractive in me in any way you look at it. I don't play ball, can't make wonderful melodies out of strings, both with left feet, and obtains a shrieking thin voice which is not affordable for singing. No good, not even in character.

It's been awhile since Lad left me. He kept his ground with Erica. It never appeared to my mind that he would leave an old rugged friend for the sake of a woman. The power of love eh?

That's odd. Even though I'm used to the idea that Lad sometimes exploit me when he needs it, I still rely on him. Now? I'm a solitaire. Is this the reason behind why I'm still looking for someone to turn to? After Des, who's next? Bitter. You know what, I can have simple likings to anyone in the streets but I never intended to draw close to them. Of course, they're strangers.

But really, I thought Erica would be the last girl that I would ever desire. And then I ate my words until I met that cordial lady. And I thought she's way too different from Des because from the time we had our acquaintance, she was so discreet (she doesn't even emit any single word). And intriguingly, I'm starting to know more about her. She doesn't drink coffee (only chocolates), doesn't like rainy seasons, strikingly laughs out loud over simple cracking jokes, unwittingly noticed... she's really smart. And she's an angel when she sleeps - undefinable.

Ridiculous, how can I refuse to that sweetheart? When every time I turn down my feelings for her, she always reminds me about it. There was even a time when I said to myself I should not nurture my emotions. That morning, we were at a tricycle for a ride. I thought I got over those sensational feelings. Unluckily, I got no choice but to sit beside her. In the middle of the ride, I came to think of many many things that would keep my mind busy and away from her. But God, she was just so powerful that when she leaned on me and rested her head on my shoulder for a nap I was pulverized. The solid heart I accumulated has broken down into thin tiny fragments. All what's left was the tamed soul which was hidden for a long time and apparently, it showed up.

From then on, I begun to care. It's weird, I feel uneasy every time I find her uncomfortable. Often times I use to hand her a soft pillow and blankets her at night when she sleeps. Isn't that cute?

Time perhaps, wouldn't lose its turn against me. That's why I should take a good grip. I know suppressing the feelings might ruin me. But I guess it's the best thing to do for now. I just don't want to mess everything...

The mayas outside were looking for shelter, unfortunately they had live to enjoy the rainy day. The rain, its droplets of water strike the ground to calm it down. As the ground also embraces the coolness in open arms. The morning, it was mutual as I ponder, looking up that mild sky. After all those hard times with Lad and Erica - which I thought very impossible for me to carry on - had gone so fast. And it always amuses me... when a frail heart begins to love again.


Huwaw. Na diay masumpay sa part 1. XD~

another short story :3

*kaon lapok*

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